Once there was this guy who lived in this small town who was always real happy, either because he was always stoned or because he was retarded. All day long, he walked around town with this big annoying stupid smile on his face saying hello to everybody because he didn’t know that everyone made fun of him when he wasn’t around. They called him Trashcan Sam even though his real name wasn’t even Sam because nobody gave a shit what his real name was.
One day Trashcan Sam the stoned retard was walking around town, minding his own business like always. He was minding it so well, in fact, that he forgot to look at the traffic light and he wandered out into this intersection and he got run over by a dumptruck and his innards shot out of his asshole and he didn’t have any money for a funeral so they cremated him and sent his ashes to the dump. There is no god.
THE END
The Collected Works of Elwood Larf 