Lappy G. Yuff, Mongolian Bassfishing Champion

There used to be this guy who lived down the street from me who looked like Kirk Cameron. One day I went over and talked to him and invited him over for dinner. So he came over for dinner and I made toast.

“Why are we eating toast for dinner?” said Kirk Cameron.

So I said, “You don’t like this fuckin toast, I’ll stick it up your fuckin ass, you goddamn cuntface whoremaster!” And I grabbed him by the hair and drug him across the room and mashed his face down onto the waffle iron.

“AAARRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG!” said Kirk Cameron. Then I threw him down the steps and he broke his back.

You can bet next time he didn’t bitch about my toast.

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