There used to be this guy who lived down the street from me who looked like Kirk Cameron. One day I went over and talked to him and invited him over for dinner. So he came over for dinner and I made toast.
“Why are we eating toast for dinner?” said Kirk Cameron.
So I said, “You don’t like this fuckin toast, I’ll stick it up your fuckin ass, you goddamn cuntface whoremaster!” And I grabbed him by the hair and drug him across the room and mashed his face down onto the waffle iron.
“AAARRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG!” said Kirk Cameron. Then I threw him down the steps and he broke his back.
You can bet next time he didn’t bitch about my toast.