Santa Claus is a Queer

Okay, so you want a goddamn Christmas blog, you fucking provincial simpletons?  Well, I’ll give ya one, even though you don’t deserve it.  First of all, Santa Claus is a big fat stupid motherfucker and one day when I was a kid I sat on his lap and he got a boner.  He is a pervert and I’m goin up there to the North Pole after I save up enough scrap metal and I’m gonna cut his dick in half longways with a rusty hacksaw I found in the dump and put the dick in a hotdog bun and make him eat it.  Then I’m gonna shit and piss on him and stomp on his head until he dies.

Fuck Santa Claus.

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