Okay, so you want a goddamn Christmas blog, you fucking provincial simpletons? Well, I’ll give ya one, even though you don’t deserve it. First of all, Santa Claus is a big fat stupid motherfucker and one day when I was a kid I sat on his lap and he got a boner. He is a pervert and I’m goin up there to the North Pole after I save up enough scrap metal and I’m gonna cut his dick in half longways with a rusty hacksaw I found in the dump and put the dick in a hotdog bun and make him eat it. Then I’m gonna shit and piss on him and stomp on his head until he dies.
Fuck Santa Claus.