Woaty Floaty

One time I went to a coffee shop to write and the guy said i couldn’t come in on account of I didn’t have no shoes on so I went outside and bashed up a newspaper machine and put newspaper on my feet and the guy said I still couldn’t come inside so I went around the corner where this hobo was sitting there talking about something and I conked him over the head with a garbage can lid and stoled his shoes. They stunk. Then I went back in the coffee shop and the guy said I could come in if i left everybody alone and I sat down and I wrote the best story in the history of American literature and Canada and then I went home and jacked off.

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