Wipe Your Butt With A Leaf

This guy once came to a barbecue with his dog, which was dead.  He kicked me in the balls and I fell on the ground and started vomiting and everyone laughed at me, even my grandmother.  My grandmother was toothless and now she is dead, which is worse.  I have dinosaurs in my bed.

Anyway, I got back up off the ground and went down to this little restaurant but I had puke all over my pants and people kept staring at me.  I saw this midget, which was gross, because midgets are animals and it’s disgusting and immoral to bring a filthy midget into a restaurant.  I grabbed the manager by the wrist and told him i couldn’t eat with that hideously deformed monstrosity at the next table or I would puke, and he said I already puked anyway, so nobody gave a shit.  I said it wasn’t my fault I got kicked in the balls at a church picnic and go get me a hamburger.

He got me a hamburger and I threw it against the wall and I called the pound and they came and collected the midget and put it in a cage.  I hope they shot it.

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